why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
