New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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