fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
