all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
