I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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