Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize