I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
