OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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