have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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