Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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