Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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