omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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