My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
More tranny stories later!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
