Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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