forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
