walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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