Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
