Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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