i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize