I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
