I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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