I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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