you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
