It's just like the Real World with babies
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
