I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
