Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
