I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
