I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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