Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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