Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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