and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
