I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
