It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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