So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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