So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Non-Jews are for practice
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
