So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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