think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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