I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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