ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
splinters make it hard to masturbate
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
