Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
