my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
