the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize