I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
where am i from again
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
