this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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