elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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