I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have post one night stand depression
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