rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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