i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
