Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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