she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
