ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
