Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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