she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
