At least make sure they are 18
Why
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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