You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
