just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
