drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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