I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
