Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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