its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
