I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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