): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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