Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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