Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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