I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Oh god it's open bar.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
